Tamil wedding invitation wording: the kalyana pathirikai and its lines

Tamil cards are formal and full, and older relatives read them closely for names, degrees and the muhurtham. Each family usually prints its own card, naming its own child first, though some now print one joint card.

This sample follows the classic pathirikai from the bride's family. Fill in the Tamil date and the lagnam your family's astrologer gives you, and keep the English date beside them for younger guests.

A Tamil wedding begins days before the muhurtham with the pandhakkal, the planting of the first pole of the pandal, and many families hold the nichayathartham and the maappillai azhaippu, the welcome of the groom, on the eve. On the morning come the kasi yathirai, the oonjal, the maalai maatral, the kanyadhanam and the tying of the thali, with nalangu games later in the day. Print the varaverpu, the maappillai azhaippu and the muhurtham, which guests attend, and leave the private rites to the family.

Couples living outside Tamil Nadu often send an English invitation alongside the family's card. Keep the family deity and the muhurtham window, which elders look for, and write the rest in your own voice.

Many Tamil families now hold the reception the evening before the muhurtham, because the morning ceremony starts early and leaves little time for photographs with every guest. Give it a message of its own if some guests are invited only to the reception.

The first pathirikai is placed before the family deity, at the temple or in the puja room, before anyone else receives one. Relatives are invited in person by the parents, who offer the card on a plate with betel leaves, areca nut, fruit, turmeric and kumkum, and close elders expect that visit even when the link has already reached them.

Late grandparents are often named at the top, with their blessings invoked, while living elders appear in the list at the foot. Write every name with its initial exactly as the family uses it; a wrong initial is noticed.