Wording guide
Engagement invitation wording, from roka and sagai to nichayathartham and sakharpuda
By the Wishly team · Updated
An engagement invitation names the family or the couple who invite, the ceremony, the date, the time and the venue, and asks guests to bless the couple; it is shorter and warmer than a wedding card. Use the name your family gives the ceremony: roka, sagai or mangni in the north, nichayathartham in Tamil, nischitartham in Telugu, sakharpuda in Marathi and gol dhana in Gujarati homes.
Below, the regional names explained, then samples for a formal invitation, a couple-hosted one, a WhatsApp message and a family-only roka.
What the engagement is called
The ceremony goes by many names, and using your family's word tells relatives you know their custom. Each name also hints at what happens, which helps guests from the other side.
- Roka: the North Indian ceremony at which both families agree to the match, often small and at home.
- Sagai or mangni: the ring ceremony, often a larger party.
- Chunni chadai and kurmai: in Punjabi and Sikh families, the groom's side drapes a red chunni over the bride, and the kurmai is the Sikh engagement.
- Nichayathartham (Tamil), nischitartham (Telugu) and nischitartha (Kannada): the formal fixing of the wedding, when the families exchange thamboolam and the muhurtham letter is read.
- Sakharpuda (Marathi): the groom's family gives the bride a sari and sugar, and rings are often exchanged.
- Gol dhana (Gujarati): jaggery and coriander seeds are shared to mark the engagement.
- Ashirbad (Bengali): elders bless the bride and groom, each family visiting the other's child.
- Vivaha nischayam in Malayalam, and the betrothal, or manasammatham, in Kerala Christian families.
Formal engagement wording from the parents
The family hosting the ceremony, usually the bride's, sends the formal invitation in the parents' names. Here it is in English, with versions in Hindi and Marathi.
With the blessings of our elders,
Mrs Anjali and Mr Suresh Iyer
invite you to the engagement of their daughter
Kavya
with
Rohan
son of Mrs Rekha and Mr Manish Gupta
Sunday, 13 December 2026, 11 am
[venue], Bengaluru
Lunch follows the ring ceremony
Sagai Samaroh
Hamare bete Rohan ki sagai
Kavya ke saath
Ravivar, 13 December 2026, subah 11 baje
Aapke aashirwad ki kaamna ke saath,
Gupta parivar
What it says: Engagement ceremony. The engagement of our son Rohan with Kavya, on Sunday, 13 December 2026, at 11 in the morning. Hoping for your blessings, the Gupta family.
Sakharpuda Samarambh
Chi. Saurabh ani Chi. Sau. Ka. Ketaki
Ravivar, 13 December 2026, sakali 11 vajta
[venue], Pune
What it says: The sakharpuda ceremony of Saurabh and Ketaki, on Sunday, 13 December 2026, at 11 in the morning.
Couple-hosted and WhatsApp engagement wording
Couples who plan their own ring ceremony often send the invitation in their own names, and the same message works on WhatsApp with a link to the details.
We're getting engaged!
Kavya and Rohan
invite you to our ring ceremony
Sunday, 13 December 2026, 11 am, [venue], Bengaluru
Lunch, a little dancing, and both our families in one room.
Kavya and Rohan's engagement: Sunday, 13 December, 11 am, Bengaluru.
Details, map and RSVP: [link]
Come and bless them!
A family-only roka
A roka is often decided quickly and held at home with close family only, sometimes within a week. The invitation can be a few warm lines, and the elders should hear the news from a parent's call before the message arrives.
Roka
Kavya and Rohan's families are meeting to make it official.
Saturday, 12 December 2026, 6 pm
At the Gupta home, [address]
Just family, sweets and blessings.
Etiquette for an engagement invitation
Customs differ on who hosts: in many families it is the bride's side, in others the groom's, and some share it. Each family invites its own relatives, and the list is usually much smaller than the wedding's, so think about who might feel left out before you send.
When both families host together, name both sets of parents in the opening line and keep the wording neutral between two customs. A Tamil family and a Punjabi family can call it an engagement and ring ceremony on the shared invitation, and keep the nichayathartham and the roka for their own homes.
- Send the invitation two to three weeks ahead, or a few days ahead for a small roka.
- If the wedding date is fixed, add it at the end as a save the date.
- Use the same design for the engagement and the wedding if you want the two invitations to look like a pair.
Questions families ask
- Who sends the engagement invitation?
- The family hosting the ceremony, in the parents' names. Couples planning their own ring ceremony can send it in their own names.
- Is a roka the same as an engagement?
- Not quite. A roka is the families' agreement to the match, often small and quick; the sagai or ring ceremony is the formal engagement, sometimes held months later.
- Can the wedding date go on the engagement invitation?
- Yes, once it is fixed. A closing line such as Wedding on 12 February 2027, invitation to follow, works as a save the date.