How-to
What RSVP means, and how to collect replies for an Indian wedding
By the Wishly team · Updated
RSVP stands for the French répondez s'il vous plaît, please reply: it asks guests to tell you by a set date whether they are coming and how many of them will come. For an Indian wedding, ask for a reply for each function, with the number of adults and children, so that the caterer, the hotel and the transport can be planned.
This guide explains what to ask, how to word the reply-by line, how to collect headcounts per function and how to chase replies without giving offence.
Why replies matter more at an Indian wedding
At many Western weddings an RSVP is a yes or no for one dinner. An Indian wedding has several functions with different guest lists, and many guests bring family members, so the questions are which functions, how many people, and any food needs.
Many guests never reply, assuming the family knows they will come. A clear question, an easy way to answer and a deadline do more than any amount of etiquette.
Wording for the reply-by line
Put the reply-by line at the end of the invitation, with a date and a name. These read well in print and on a phone.
- Set the deadline two to three weeks before the wedding, before the caterer and the hotel need final numbers.
- Avoid writing RSVP please; RSVP already means please reply.
- Regrets only, asking only those who cannot come to reply, works poorly at Indian weddings, where silence usually means yes.
Kindly reply by 15 January 2027
to Rohit Mehra, [phone number]
Please let us know by 15 January whether you can come, and how many of you, so we can plan the food and seating.
Kindly reply by 15 January for each function you will attend: mehendi, sangeet, wedding and reception.
Kripya 15 January tak apni upasthiti ki soochna dein.
What it says: Kindly let us know by 15 January whether you will attend.
What to ask
Ask only what you will use. Every extra question is one more reason for a guest to put off replying.
- Name, so the reply can be matched to your list.
- Which functions they will attend.
- How many adults and children, and their names if you are arranging passes, rooms or place cards.
- Food: vegetarian, Jain, no onion or garlic, allergies.
- Arrival time, and whether they need a room or a pick-up, if you are arranging those.
- A phone number, if you do not have one.
Collecting replies in one place
Calls and WhatsApp messages are easy to receive and hard to count. Choose one place for every answer: a spreadsheet one person owns, or an RSVP inside the invitation, which records each reply with the number of guests and their food notes and can be exported for the caterer.
Whatever you use, put one person in charge of the list, often a sibling or a cousin, and give their name on the invitation so that guests know whom to call.
Headcounts for each function
Keep a running count for each function rather than one total: the haldi may be family alone while the reception fills a hall. Note children separately, since the caterer and the seating plan treat them differently, and note vegetarian and Jain meals per function, not just per guest.
If a reply includes more people than you invited, call rather than message, thank them for replying, and explain the limits of the venue gently; families usually understand when they hear it from you.
Chasing replies politely
A week before the deadline, send one reminder to those who have not answered. Make it about your planning rather than their silence, and make it easy to say no: a guest who cannot come should feel free to say so.
Hi Anita Aunty, we are finalising the caterer's numbers for Neha's wedding.
Could you tell us by Friday whether you will come for the sangeet and the wedding, and how many of you? A reply in the invitation or here is fine.
Namaste Mama ji, Papa asked me to check: will you and Mami come for the wedding on 7 March, and will you stay for the reception too?
What it says: Mama ji and Mami are your mother's brother and his wife.
We are giving final numbers to the caterer tomorrow evening, so do tell us today if you are coming.
Questions families ask
- What does RSVP stand for?
- Répondez s'il vous plaît, French for please reply. It asks guests to say whether they will attend.
- How many guests should we plan for if some do not reply?
- Count the yes replies, then add a margin for relatives who usually come without replying, based on what your family knows of them. Ask your caterer what margin they work with.
- Should the RSVP go on the invitation or on a separate card?
- On the invitation itself, at the end, where guests finish reading. A separate reply card is a habit of printed stationery; on a phone, a reply button or a number to message does the same job.
- Is it rude to ask how many people are coming?
- No. It is a practical question, and guests generally prefer it to guessing whether their children are invited.
